Reflections Upon Confirmation as a Parent - A Letter to My Daughter Caroline

The confirmation of my daughter was a major event for my family yesterday (at least in terms of work and people involved).  All of her grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and godparents were present.  There was a meal and an open house with the requisite decorations, cake, mints and nuts.  Perhaps we fell into all the same clichés as every other family when it comes to confirmation.  But as I thought about what it meant that my daughter was confirmed, I came to the conclusion that for me, as a parent, nothing has really changed.  The presence of her family was an obvious statement to her that her growth in the Christian faith is of great importance.  However, my expectations for her have not truly changed now that she is confirmed.  Since our congregation links First Communion and Confirmation, her being invited to the table is actually of greater “significance” in terms of the fact that she now is blessed to receive the Lord’s Supper and all the blessings that our Lord offers therein.  But ultimately, my sincere hope is that she understands her identity as a baptized child of God.  To that end, I wrote her a letter that I gave to her last night after all of the day’s commotion subsided.  While she received many beautiful and generous gifts from her family and friends, I wanted to share with her what our hopes are for our future and those hopes have never really changed.   We want her to know what it means that she is God’s baptized, forgiven and redeemed child.   Here is the letter that I wrote to her. 

 

Dear Caroline,

January 9, 2000 on the church’s calendar was the Baptism of our Lord, but it was also your baptism.  The sign of the cross was made over your head and heart as Christ marked you one of His own.  As God placed His name on in you through the water and the Word, Christ’s baptism became your baptism, His death your death and His resurrection yours also.  You were brought into God’s Kingdom by God’s grace, the work of the Holy Spirit. 

There have been many important days in your life since.  There have been milestones such as learning to walk or the first day of school or losing your first tooth or making your first basket.  But on January 9, 2000, the hopes that your mother and I had for you were met as you were baptized into Christ.  There were lots of things that we hoped for in a child.  Healthy, smart, funny, kind with a warm smile and a love of Kentucky basketball (okay, that was just mine).  But more than anything else, what we wanted in a child was a child of God.  We wanted a daughter or son who would know Christ’s love and the riches of His grace.  We wanted a child who confessed the faith that we shared and would one day stand next to us and share Christ’s body and blood with us in the Lord’s Supper.  We weren’t so concerned about hair color or the shape of your nose.  We didn’t have strong feelings about your particular interests.  We simply wanted you to know that God loved you even more than we ever could.  We wanted you to know that Christ demonstrated His love for you by dying for you. 

So what’s next?  High school, college, additional schooling, dating, occupation, marriage.  We aren’t sure what all the future holds for you.  However, our hope for you doesn’t really change.  It remains our prayer that you are God’s baptized child.  There will be many pressures and temptations that you will face ahead.  But we still will pray that the God who marked you at the baptismal font will continue to keep you safe and secure in the “ark” of the Christian Church.  When you were still in the womb, your mom used to tell me how much you moved around when I was preaching.  She used to say that it was because you knew my voice.  I always thought it was more like John the Baptist leaping in his mother’s womb in the presence of the yet unborn Christchild as Mary visited Elizabeth.  I pray that you will always be faithful in hearing God’s Word proclaimed and being in the presence of Christ as He comes to you in Word and Sacrament. 

We never know what the future holds.  The only thing of which you can be certain is God’s faithful promises.  That is why I think your confirmation verse is so appropriate.  God’s Word of encouragement to Joshua is fitting also for you, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”  You may live across town from us or on the other side of the globe, but God will be with you.  May your strength and courage always come from the God who called you in baptism and who gave His life for you on the cross. 

This also guides you no matter what you “do with your life.”  Whether you are a doctor or a ditch digger, it is my hope and prayer that you see your work in light of your identity as God’s beloved child.  Paul describes it well in Galatians 2, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” 

Caroline, you have been baptized into Christ’s death and resurrection.  You have died to yourself and now risen as God’s new creation.  So it is no longer you who live, but Christ who lives in you.  That means that Christ works through you whether teaching children or caring for the sick.  So whether it is wife and mother or worker or all of the above, may you find joy in being who God has called you to be – His beloved child!

There will be times that you fail.  There will be times where you make mistakes.  You are a sinner and that is what sinners do.  At those times, I pray that you find comfort at the baptismal font where you first received God’s forgiving word of Absolution.  You are just as much in need of God’s grace today as you were on the day of your baptism.  And you are just as much God’s baptized child today as you were on January 9, 2000. 

I am your father and that means that I have a great responsibility that I take seriously as I raise you as God’s baptized child.  But our relationship is more than just father and daughter and even pastor and parishioner.  It Is also that of brother and sister in Christ because just like you I am a sinner who needs God’s grace.  While there will perhaps be more years of me talking to you about the stuff the dads say to daughters, what we have to look forward to is an eternity as brother and sister in Christ.  I really look forward to birthdays and driving lessons, ballgames and college visits, graduations and if God blesses wedding and grandchildren.  Those will all be wonderful things for us to look forward to in the future.  But we are blessed to be able to look forward to the eternity that we will share because more than anything else we are God’s baptized children. 

Your mother and I love you.  We look forward to what the Lord has in store for you in the future and we rejoice that the future is an eternal one.  Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift of grace in Christ Jesus!

Love,

Dad